Sometimes in life we all lack confidence and that can be down to the situation we find ourselves in or the choices we have made that led us to the position we are in today. Nobody is born with limitless self-confidence. If someone does seem to have incredible self-confidence, it’s because they have worked on it for years. Self-confidence is something that you should learn to build up even with negative circumstances that life sometimes throws at you.
1. Stop hating yourself
Just stop and think for a second. Why do you hate yourself and deprive yourself of happiness and the good things in life. Because your a piece of S***? Because your a F*** up? Why do you feel this way is it because of things you have done in the past or because of the situation you find yourself in? God created us all to be happy and give us the best. We chose our actions that led us into the position we are in today. Don’t dwell on the past, it can change nothing. Forget it, learn from it and try to not let it happen again. Things happen in our life to make us stronger and we may not see it now but later on you will look back and understand why things happened they way they did. They way to love yourself is by treating yourself for the small achievements in life and looking after yourself. Try it with all your strength even when you don’t feel like it. You deserve the best don’t let anyone tell you different. People will always have bad things to say about you – you can’t control that but what you can control is yourself. Love yourself – God loves you, even if you don’t. Everything happens for a reason.
“Self-care is never a selfish act — it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” — Parker Palmer
Life is short, don’t waste it. Live it to the max and enjoy yourself. Self hate gets you nowhere. Why choose sadness when you can choose happiness.
It is all in the head. The only person that can decide to keep you happy or sad is you. Your thoughts determine your mood. Always think positive and focus on positive thoughts even in times of difficulty. Thought is a powerful thing and it can do so much for you. It controls your mood, actions and just about everything else. Think positive. This will help with your confidence and remind you of your strengths as you won’t waste your energy on the negative thoughts that distract you from all the good in life.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” Unknown
Believe in yourself. This is one of the hardest things and our thoughts always bring us back to “You can’t do S**t, stop wasting everyones time, blah blah blah”. Know god has given you the capability to do anything, it’s up to you and your thoughts to make sure you believe that. Know you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Believe it. Even if it is hard.
“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill
“Affirmations are a powerful tool to deliberately install desired beliefs about yourself.” — Nikki Carnevale
Visualisation is seeing an image of yourself in your own mind of how you want to be. Is it rich, full of confidence and married to a beautiful woman. Know you can get there and instil it in you. You will start acting like you want to be. When we struggle with low self-confidence, we have a poor perception of ourselves that is often inaccurate. Always visualise a version of yourself, achieving your goals and start acting like you already have it.
5. Own up to your bad choices and stop blaming others
Own up to your own mistakes and don’t blame others or God. You made your choices even when god gave you all the opportunities. So if they did not go well it may have been down to your choices and god wanted better for you. So think did you have the chance and mess it up yourself, or did it just not work out. If it did not work out god wanted better for you. If you messed up the chance then own up and make sure you take every opportunity that comes your way and appreciate it. Learn from you mistakes and don’t mess up again. Thats also gods way of improving you to become a better person.
To gain your self-confidence start achieving something. Go back to university or start a college course. Try and set goals and achieve them, this will give you some self worth and keep you going, knowing you can achieve your goals. Make your goals achievable. Do something that allows you to achieve something and set goals. Never wander life aimlessly it halts all productivity and self improvement. Do something that makes you achieve something, always keep busy.
“To establish true self-confidence, we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” — Denis Waitley
Always push to be a better version of you. Always push to be happy even if you don’t feel like it. Stop doing things that don’t make you happy and bring pain. Always push and work hard to achieve the best in life. This gives life purpose and direction without it you fall into depression and lose self-confidence. Persistence is a powerful thing. Always work hard for what you want and where you want to be as nobody will ever place it on your lap. Go out there and be the change you want to see. When you laugh the world laughs with you, when you cry you cry alone. You want to be happy and full of self-confidence you have to work for it and be the best you can – persist.
[image from myhealthylivingcoach]